Today I logged into my WordPress for the first time in over year, and I cannot believe all the changes that have happened on it since my last blog post! I must admit the new look is a lot nicer.
For anyone that still follows me, apologies for not having posted in a very long while. It all started of by running out of media space (I use the free version of WordPress) and being too lazy to figure out what to do next. “Shall I invest in the paid version to have unlimited storage? Shall I just use Flickr as a way to get all my pictures in my posts? Do I really need all those pictures? I like taking pictures, and I like showing them, so yes I do. So what can I do?” And before I knew it, I had stopped writing. And I missed it. But the longer I didn’t write…the longer I just didn’t write.
At the same time I was also dealing with working at a place where I was unhappy. I needed to change jobs and maybe even careers. I wanted to, and still looking to, pursue a different path. So I quit my job and have been dealing with the stress of that ever since. I’d say finding any job just to pay the bills is not that difficult, but finding THE job that pays the bills AND gives you fulfilment is one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced…or so I thought.
At the end of the summer last year, after a very difficult battle with cancer my sister passed away. Until that very moment, I had had absolute faith that she would fight it and pull through. To me death was inconceivable.
Although my sister was five years older than me, we were often mistaken for twins. My mom would even buy us the same clothes so we would match. We hated it. For one of our birthdays (our birthdays are 4 days apart), we insisted on deciding what we would wear ourselves. We did not want our mom to make us wear the same clothes. So we got dressed separately and went downstairs to our party.
Well, what do you know, we had picked the exact same outfit.
Still, we were never able to see the similarity ourselves. But perhaps the bond we shared could be compared to that of twins. I still remember as children, every time my sister cried I too would start crying with her. As teenagers our bedrooms were side by side, yet when we were too lazy to get up we would simply phone each other. And when I moved to London we spent even more time on the phone. Our conversations would last for hours.
So when I lost her, I lost my best friend, my confidant and so much more. A piece of me had gone.Suddenly the world seems different and I have a new perspective on what’s really important. I think I’m still getting to grips with this new reality, but understand that life must go on. I recently read a post on FaceBook that said,”Grief, I’ve learned is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hallow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” A somewhat cheesy, yet touching quote that resonated within me a little. So I decided I can keep loving the memories of my sister, I can keep loving her son and I can keep loving those around me.
Of course this means I also continue to love Japan! Which brings me back to my blog. I’ve missed out on so many great Japanese events in the last few months, and I’ve really been lazy with Japanese, to the point that I’ve lost all confidence (^◇^;) I’m sure with a little practice it’ll all come back naturally (でしょう??). So here’s to all the future exciting Japanese events that will be happening in London, or as I like to call it: Nihon in London.